To keep or to go (Part II)

Hi, meet again. As promised I'll continue with the previous topic "To keep or to go".

Remember last time I did mentioned about how vital my student's evaluation to me?. Yup!. Being an educator is my dream since I was a kid. I remembered how I admired my primary school teacher. They had spent their precious time educated me (on these of course included their energy, their patience, money and everything). Still fresh in my mind how my headmaster at that time Cikgu Abdullah(I don't know where he is now.. Ah how i wished i could meet him now and payback his sacrifice towards me at that time. Because of their effort and of course not to leave behind the inspiration from my family especially my late dad, I managed to step my foot at the Mara Junior Science College in Kuala Trengganu. Studied there till SPM, before I could further my study to a much higher level. I always look up and wish to join them being an educator.

However after graduating, I embarked myself in IT field. At first I worked as a programmer then promoted to a system analyst post at one of the higher institution here in Malaysia. Working there really equipped me with tons of IT knowledge. Cosy and conducive working environment. Warm and friendly college and etc. Wow what a flashback. Let me cut this short. After several years working there, I applied for a course called "Kursus Perguruan Lepas Ijazah". To make this mumbling shorter, let me just mentioned, studied for a year and later I was qualified to be a teacher. But my opportunity bestowed by Allah is much more than that. I was accepted to be a lecturer in one of the Teacher's training Institute up north.

Yup. Since then I was so called a Lecturer a.k.a an Educator. The career that I was once dreamed off. And year after year continue, I still hold that title and promised to myself to do the best in me to educate the new generation. Here I am still there.

And, back to the title I was about to tell, after the evaluation process, I was interviewed by the two evaluators mentioned before in the previous blog. So the interviewed went on and on. And after the interview, my memory kept on flashing back what had happened during the interview session. Have you being through this. Some kind of feeling that you felt that you could performed better than what you have done. Yup, that what occurred to me. I don't know what the result would be. But I do hope I will success with flying colours, although deep in my heart I believe, I could do it much better.

And of course this kind of feeling just like a repetition image. It kept on wandering in your mind and you felt so occupied with this feeling and how hard I tried to let it go, it keep on wondering around. Well, as most motivators say, "Just let it out, tell your trusted friends, sooner it will fly away". It so true, I let it out, I expressed what I felt to those I trusted friends out there. And besides, my husband also suggested me to read "The Haikal Seven". Alhamdulillah, thanks to the Most Merciful God, Allah I'm now fully recovered from that uneasy feeling. I am now, back to my normal life, cheerful, enthusiasm like before, ready to fit in again. And my advise to friends out there, if you have problems just let it out, tell to your friend, sometime when you know someone is listening, that is good enough. Never kept any problem to yourself. Share it with your closest people around you. They might understand.

So that's all for the topic to keep or to go. Keep on reading, next time I'll continue with other interesting topic.

Till then....

To keep or to go?

Hi, morning. What a beautiful Friday?. Nice weather, cold and quiet. Quiet because today is a weekend in Kedah. So no sound of school busses or cars. Today I can rest the whole day. My husband is still in the mosque. He cycled to the mosque after our "sahur" meal (an early breakfast during the fasting month) and now 9.06 am, he hasn't come back. Usually he goes there with my stream. But today he cycled there. Before he went out, I smiled and giggled and added "wow, macam cerita P.Ramlee pulak". He used my son's new raleigh, and it' really reminds me of P.Ramlee old and classic movie "Ali Baba Bujang Lapok".
So enough for the induction, let me begin today's blog journal by the above title "To keep or to go". Well, if you looked at the title, you might assumed that it is related to things and old stuff?. If so, your assuming instinct is wrong. So better keep on reading....

Yesterday was a really long day for me. Yesterday also was a big day for me. Yesterday also the day I was evaluated by two appointed evaluator. The story started 2 months back. There was an advertisement by the administration regarding the post of "Pensyarah Cemerlang". My organisation encouraged their staff to grab this opportunity by filling the form and they will filter and submit the candidates who are qualified for the post. Early this month I got the good news, which stated that my submitted form was accepted and I was in the shortlisted to be interviewed and monitored for the purpose of evaluation. And of course I'm not alone. There are also some other shortlisted candidate from my college. So after waiting for several days, yesterday did arrive and I have tried to perform my best during the monitoring and interviewed.
The first chapter of the evaluation begins with a monitoring session by the evaluator towards my teaching and learning practice. My usual class is normally takes 2 hours, but yesterday I needed to cut short my lesson to 1 hour only. So I did some arrangement and prepared a Teaching and Learning Plan for an hour session. Since the topic that I wanted to cover yesterday is more on skill based, so I implemented the demonstration strategy. In my opinion, for a skill topic, I must give the opportunity to my student to acquire the skill by doing. Luckily, most of the student able to access to one pc each and three of them used their own pc. The arrangement of the station in the lab, is like 4 columns with 6 rows each. So that's make 24 of pcs. Since there are three pc's failed to function well, so the student chose to use their own notebook.
Before the session started, my phone beeped twice. Lots of messages. They are messages wishes me luck for that interview and monitoring session. Thank you guys for sending me all the wishing luck messages. It's really boost up my confidence level. Well, by receiving these messages really make me smile and grateful. I'm glad I still have friends out there who really cares and wish me the best. One of the messages is from Kak Yan, "Zah.. all the best 2 u. Kakyn yakin Zah will shine". The other from my organisation deputy director "Selamat dinilai. Saya berdoa semoga berjaya. buktikan ipda mempunyai ramai pensyarah cemerlang IT". From Sumaiyah "Good luck Kak Zah" and several others. Thanks again guys. By receiving messages like that did boost my adrenalin and reduce my nervous. Ha ha you might laughed when reading this, but try to put yourself in my shoe. I'm sure you must have gone thru such an anxiety feeling like this before.
The class went well and smooth at first. However, there arrised several difficulty when I realised that they are two students at the back who were left behind the others. While the others have completed the task, and I'm about to go to the next step, they raised their hands. What should I do?. I can't simply proceed and let them left behind and behind. So I asked the others to proceed to explore the term that I'm gonna use after this. And I even mentioned to them to get the note I posted ealier in our Learning management system. So I strode to their station and try to walk them through. I guessed they must have missed my explanation just now. (I assumed because their stations were at the last rows. So I think is it due to my voice. I believed my voice is loud enough to be heard. And beside, the other guys who sat at the last row able to listen and do the task well. Hmm, as a teacher and a mother, I felt very concern with their performance. I'm very determined to make sure everybody in the class are able to get what I deliver and because of that I'll make sure they both able to do the task. Then I proceeded with the lesson. By the end of the class, I indeed believe most of the student are able to compete the task well.
Finally the class ended and I walked out the door, and leave my student with the evalutors. I guessed they were collecting data from the student. And I'm so sure the were collecting the evaluation data from the student. I wonder what do my student rate me?. Usually I rate them, in their quizzes, in the task accomplishment and etc. But today is vice versa. Their opinion towards me is very vital.

To be continued. (I haven't reach the title yet, so better keep on reading).

Be a Front Seater

Sound so simple but yet, I seldom see, when attending classes, seminar or anything related to it, most of the participants would rather choose the back seat?. I wonder why?. I always remind my student, "come on guys, better be in the front. Coz when your seat near the presenter, you can hear much better, and your view also won't be disrupt by others". Hmm it reminds me of the class I attended during my sophomore year at Arkansas State Univ. Each time when I came to class, I would rather choose the third row in the middle seat. Why? Because at that time I feel so secure being in the middle. Usually my class was organised with chairs of 7 columns and 7 rows. If I sit too near to the Professor, I needed to raise my head coz, most of the Caucasian Lecturers are very high in height. I felt so inconvenience to keep raising my head up to 45 degree to see the lecturer's face. And one other reason is by sitting in the middle I felt like, the lecturer can easily see me too. Not to mentioned, when it comes to Q&A, he will usually point his fingers to the person sitting infront. Ha here come the trick. For me, by sitting in the middle, at least I got the time to think and give an approriate and correct answer?. enough for my own excuses. However I still agree that to be a front seater, can really make you get more information than the others. And it also shown your confidence level. So Dr. Shwartz, I still at your side regarding being the front seater.

Why do I said so!

As promised, I did argue why I didn't agree the confidence level of oneself is how brave you are and how Dr Swartz explained in his book, a navy should jump from a high bridge to the ocean. As I mentioned in my previous blog, I were supposed to jump into the ocean to proved my confidence level, but what i able to do is counting down and followed with "Tolak tuan".
As for me, though I haven't possess the gut to jump to the ocean (I admit, my skill in swimming has become the major barrier why I didn't jump). But still, I try to fight my fear by climbing a high ladder (sort of). he he.

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Photo depicted above taken from by facebook, it's a one life experience by being the participant to the Tunas Samudera.

Eliminate your fear

Complete Chapter 3, and basically in chapter 3 Dr. Swartz suggests the third secret to success which is to "Destroy your fear". Fear is like an enemy to our success, therefore it is very important to take out the fear from oneself. He suggested it well with a story how a navy practise to destroy fear, by jumping from a bridge to the sea. The navy is forced to jump the bridge from a height of several feets to the water. Some of them able to do that and some aren't. This reminded me of my own story when i when to the Tunas Samudera last February. During the training before we are qualified to join the tunas Samudera, we have a 3 days training at Pulau Pangkor. The second day, all the trainees including me, we have to climb an old bridge around 20over feets above sea, and we need to countdown and start jumping to the water. Most of my friends managed to do that easily although with half hearted. Everytime when it reach to my queue, i step backward and lets my friend do so. and when it time to my turn, I embraced my chest with both my hands, with left hand on my right shoulder and right hand on my left shoulder. I couldn't swim (actually this is the skill that I haven't gained. Everytime when my son teach me the lesson, I just could not hold my breath. Not even for 60 seconds. My husband used to teach me too, but i think he must have giving up, coz of my incapability in this skill.
During the jumping, I can see my friends are waiting in the water, just to save me in case I am drowning. Choong and Syikin (the trainers) are both my friends. I know both of them have the life saver certificate, and I'm very sure, they can save me. But I just couldn't jump just like that. So the instructor ask me to countdown like the others. I start counting, "3000, 2000, 1000". And I'm suppposed to jump after final counting 1000, but I couldn't have the gut to jump. why must this be so hard on me.
I started counting again, but this time with "3000, 2000, 1000" and I ended up my counting with "Tolak Tuan", meant that I want the trainer to forcely pushing me down. There you go. Very big splash in the water. Luckily I'm still alive. It not, I couldn't posting my blog here.
The issue here is, I don't think by jumping from a high level place down to the water can be a measurement to our confidence level. But what they said to those who couldn't have the gut to jump from high place down to the water, possess less confidence level". Should I agree with that.
I have my own way of measuring my confidence level. And that's is so true. Continue later...

The important of think positively

“The magic of thinking big” by Dr David J. Schwartz, a college professor in Georgia State University, Atlanta is a very fine, inspiring and interesting book to read. In the book he reveals several secrets to success. As by the writer what he meant by success are when you are able to gain personal prosperity. And this is varies from the strength of your financial, the power and influence, the ideal job satisfying and an enjoyable life.

I managed to finish chapter one yesterday. Basically the first chapter is about a belief to succeed. And if we set to believe to be able to succeed and there will be a bigger probability that we will success in whatever our doing. I do agree with what the writer said about the personal prosperity. Except that for me I would sort the items in my own way of defining success in life. As a muslim, of course I wanted to committed my entire life to perform my duty to Allah. And major hope that Allah will bless my right doing and if it happened that if I accidently doing the wrong thing, Allah will give guidance to me so that my life will be much blessing and with this blessing I believe I will gain the personal prosperity. And as an educator, the financial strength as mentioned by the writer is not the yard stick to measure my success. If I really wanted to gain prosperity in term of financial security, I wouldn’t have chosen educator as my career. No doubt I do agree that a fine home (I’m grateful to have one), a loving and caring husband, obedient, healthy and cheerful daughter and sons have proved that I am actually now am enjoying the life given to me.

Dr. Schwartz did emphasize the important of having positive thinking and positive attitude. Our mind is very vital influence to the thinking and positive attitude. He did state that our mind is our thought factory and this factory has two foremen which is Mr Triumph and Mr Defeat. Hmm our mind will give signal to the foremen to do work. If we set the positive things then it will signal Mr Triumph and if we set negative things then, it will signal to the Mr. Defeat. As a human, I always trying to have a belief to positive thinking and always strive toward it. However, as proverb says “Hope for the best but expect for the worse”. Thought I will strive harder towards the success, but I must prepare myself to accept for the worse. And it doesn’t mean that I expect for the worse. All my effort will bring me the success and usually when we set to success, it wills success. I remember last time, before I planned to further to my second degree, my worries has risen, keep on asking, “Can I continue, can I focus on studying because my age at that time is already 34 to 35 years old”. But I’ve set very deep, very high to complete the study and even I was given a duration of two years to complete my study, I managed to complete in one an half year. And believe it or not, my CGPA is not bad at all. However I must say that all this success wouldn’t come without the support of people I loved surrounded me. I get the encouragement from them. And don’t forget to mention without the support from the government I wouldn’t achieve the second degree in my life.

And lately I was given two classes to handle. The first class, I have combinations of student from different races while the other classes consists of malay student. As usual, when it comes to the jargons in Information Technology subject, I can’t avoided using the English terms thought the class is conducted in malay but some of the term in IT, remains the usage of English terms. One of the class would preferred me to teach in mixed language, which is English and malay. But the other class is so phobia to English. When they encountered English word, they sort of holding back. I always emphasised to them, that this class is ICT class, and I don’t want language is to be the barrier for them to gain as much knowledge and skills in ICT. What I advised them is everytime you come to my class, don’t forget to bring along your dictionary coz, it might come in handy. And I do teach them, how to get the translation when they are stuck with it. And I feel that I have the responsibility to embedded the confidence level in them. Some of them have very good result in SPM, but when it comes to English, they sort of less confidence. I do mentioned to them, that if they can have very good result in Bahasa Arab, which is also a language, then they shouldn’t have difficulty in English. I urge them to practise more and more. And I even encouraged them to talk in English if possible. Do Set the believe that language is not the barrier for you to gain as much knowledge and skill in the technology. If you put the belief, then I’m sure you will success and each time you have difficulty, you know where to resolve. As mentioned also in Dr Swartz writing that, in his story to choose between a person with high IQ and can memorize better and to a person with a less IQ but have the skill in solving problems, he would rather choose the later. Hmm this one I kind a agree with him. Coz, nowadays if we want to get informations, we can use technology, “Just in time”.

So much for chapter one, we move toward chapter two. This chapter suggest some cure to excusitis. Excusitis is actually the failure to disease. The writer lists four common excuses which are health, intelligence, age and luck excuses. Some people give excuse to success due to their lack of health, or less intelligence, or too old or too young and problem on bad luck. The writer gives several suggestions to recover and cure the listed excuses given. It is very interesting in how he related the excuses with the real life situation that he encountered and the suggestions for curing the excuses.

Read, read and read

This morning I attended a presentation by the practical student from uitm, Loqman and Hamdi. Actually there were presenting a system called e-sismi. Actually this system has been developed previously by our polytech (polimas) Hafiz, Firdaus and Ahtar. The system they presented is actually a revised to the old system and enhancing some of the utilities. ehm, again that's not the main point thing to tell here. It's just a started of my next paragraph telling.

After the presentation me and the panels(sort of), our timbalan Tn. Hj. Hashim, krie (our KUKP), Mahanee the system user, and both En. Faisal and Tn. Hj. Azizan (a.k.a) the supervisor for both of the trainees there were invited to join a small invitation (tea break - but it turn out to be lunch!!... lots of durians etc) in the library. And again this is not the thing i wanna share here.

Okay the purpose of this writing is to mentioned that accidently i found a good book in the library (of course it is a good book coz it has been one of the top seller book. Don't have to mentioned, most of you must have read this book by Dr David J. Schwartz titled "The magic of thinking big". I started browsing the front cover and the back cover, nothing enchanted me, but yet as i slipped through the first four pages, i begun to like it. The words, the sentences is so simple and easy to understand. So i decided to borrow the book.

And since it happened so, i promise myself i'll keep posting the review of the book, phase by phase to be shared among those who are interested.

Gotta go first, need to perform my zohor sholat, and later attending a function in the Dewan Zaaba. Actually the function is for "The Majlis Persaraan Pn. Hajah Nor'aini", a very senior lecturer here in IPG KDA.

to be continued.

A come back

Wow, it has been nearly a year i skipped composing any news on my blog. Blamed it to Mark Zuckerberg. After the existance of facebook, i rarely visit my blog. Facebook has been a phenomena several years back and it has of course affecting me. As so called a social network, i appreciate the effort. Just like the "jejak kasih", i was able to make contact to old friends that i never imagine i can meet again. Some of them from my ex-primary school(SKPC). A very old school in my village, but yet has produced so many successful career men and women. What i heard lately the school has become one of the most preferabble school by parents in the town. Proud of that. I even able to meet some of my friends from my secondary school (MRSM KT). I'm so surprised also, coz i couldn't imagine able to see again my former teachers via online.
Oops got an appointment, i'll be back.

Camping in Pulakol, IPSAH

On 11 to 14 October, a camping has been conducted in Pulakol, IPSAH. The unit involved for this camping is Pandu Puteri Kadet, Pengakap, Kadet Remaja Sekolah, PBSM and Persatuan Puteri Islam from IPGM KDA and IPGM SAH. The studens are from the PISMP gp Semester 4, Bed group Semester 3 and KPLI. I'm sure the photos that i posted below explain everyhing. Some from my camera and some from my student's collection. I have burnt into 4 cds of 700mb each.

Hari Raya Celebration in IPGM Kampus Darulaman

Hi,
Nearly a month, i haven't update anything here. Life is so busy lately. After the ISO fever is over, then the camping fever, and finally the result submission fever. Completely done with it, so i grab this opportunity to upload some photos during the hariraya celebration at my college. I was very frustrated, coz my handphone memory really cause me some troublesome. After taking several photos, and suddenly the memory cause me headache and frustration. Only 2 photos can definitely be rescued. I tried to browse the internet regarding the problem, and everywhere i saw comments that my type of sony ericson c910 have some problem with the original memory. Last year when i bought that sony i though it should be okay, because the model has been used in james bond 007 movie, but it wasn't work very well for me. So last week i decide to get another memory and this time i didn't choose the original sony type, but another brand. I got one month warranty for that.. And it's still in good condition till this moment. The previous one couldn display the video very well, but this one it's seems very okay. hopefully....

Some of the photos i wanted to share are:
Photo of me and some of my mentees.