To keep or to go?

Hi, morning. What a beautiful Friday?. Nice weather, cold and quiet. Quiet because today is a weekend in Kedah. So no sound of school busses or cars. Today I can rest the whole day. My husband is still in the mosque. He cycled to the mosque after our "sahur" meal (an early breakfast during the fasting month) and now 9.06 am, he hasn't come back. Usually he goes there with my stream. But today he cycled there. Before he went out, I smiled and giggled and added "wow, macam cerita P.Ramlee pulak". He used my son's new raleigh, and it' really reminds me of P.Ramlee old and classic movie "Ali Baba Bujang Lapok".
So enough for the induction, let me begin today's blog journal by the above title "To keep or to go". Well, if you looked at the title, you might assumed that it is related to things and old stuff?. If so, your assuming instinct is wrong. So better keep on reading....

Yesterday was a really long day for me. Yesterday also was a big day for me. Yesterday also the day I was evaluated by two appointed evaluator. The story started 2 months back. There was an advertisement by the administration regarding the post of "Pensyarah Cemerlang". My organisation encouraged their staff to grab this opportunity by filling the form and they will filter and submit the candidates who are qualified for the post. Early this month I got the good news, which stated that my submitted form was accepted and I was in the shortlisted to be interviewed and monitored for the purpose of evaluation. And of course I'm not alone. There are also some other shortlisted candidate from my college. So after waiting for several days, yesterday did arrive and I have tried to perform my best during the monitoring and interviewed.
The first chapter of the evaluation begins with a monitoring session by the evaluator towards my teaching and learning practice. My usual class is normally takes 2 hours, but yesterday I needed to cut short my lesson to 1 hour only. So I did some arrangement and prepared a Teaching and Learning Plan for an hour session. Since the topic that I wanted to cover yesterday is more on skill based, so I implemented the demonstration strategy. In my opinion, for a skill topic, I must give the opportunity to my student to acquire the skill by doing. Luckily, most of the student able to access to one pc each and three of them used their own pc. The arrangement of the station in the lab, is like 4 columns with 6 rows each. So that's make 24 of pcs. Since there are three pc's failed to function well, so the student chose to use their own notebook.
Before the session started, my phone beeped twice. Lots of messages. They are messages wishes me luck for that interview and monitoring session. Thank you guys for sending me all the wishing luck messages. It's really boost up my confidence level. Well, by receiving these messages really make me smile and grateful. I'm glad I still have friends out there who really cares and wish me the best. One of the messages is from Kak Yan, "Zah.. all the best 2 u. Kakyn yakin Zah will shine". The other from my organisation deputy director "Selamat dinilai. Saya berdoa semoga berjaya. buktikan ipda mempunyai ramai pensyarah cemerlang IT". From Sumaiyah "Good luck Kak Zah" and several others. Thanks again guys. By receiving messages like that did boost my adrenalin and reduce my nervous. Ha ha you might laughed when reading this, but try to put yourself in my shoe. I'm sure you must have gone thru such an anxiety feeling like this before.
The class went well and smooth at first. However, there arrised several difficulty when I realised that they are two students at the back who were left behind the others. While the others have completed the task, and I'm about to go to the next step, they raised their hands. What should I do?. I can't simply proceed and let them left behind and behind. So I asked the others to proceed to explore the term that I'm gonna use after this. And I even mentioned to them to get the note I posted ealier in our Learning management system. So I strode to their station and try to walk them through. I guessed they must have missed my explanation just now. (I assumed because their stations were at the last rows. So I think is it due to my voice. I believed my voice is loud enough to be heard. And beside, the other guys who sat at the last row able to listen and do the task well. Hmm, as a teacher and a mother, I felt very concern with their performance. I'm very determined to make sure everybody in the class are able to get what I deliver and because of that I'll make sure they both able to do the task. Then I proceeded with the lesson. By the end of the class, I indeed believe most of the student are able to compete the task well.
Finally the class ended and I walked out the door, and leave my student with the evalutors. I guessed they were collecting data from the student. And I'm so sure the were collecting the evaluation data from the student. I wonder what do my student rate me?. Usually I rate them, in their quizzes, in the task accomplishment and etc. But today is vice versa. Their opinion towards me is very vital.

To be continued. (I haven't reach the title yet, so better keep on reading).